Monday, 25 November 2013

I'm a celebrity, get me out of here. Two new campmates, the dynamic changes again.

NaBloPoMo is even more difficult to keep up with than it is to write!  A blog a day throughout the month of November. Sounds so easy. Well, I made it, pretty much to 21st November and then there was a flurry of busy days in my life and I have missed four blogs. Will it still count if I write four blogs late? Maybe it will. Maybe I can lie to myself and pretend I managed to stick to the NaBloPoMo commitment. 

I will just work my way backwards then, from what I can remember of the last four days. 

I'm a celeb. It has all changed. Again. Vincent Simone and Annabel Giles have arrived in the Jungle. Vincent Simone is a massive show off, he parades in his knickers and is quite happy to show off his Rear of the Year. Alfonso actually told him to put some pants on. I guess he meant trousers. Italian Vincent probably doesn't do American English, he did put some more pants on, he went from bright white to black and white leopard print. I don't think that is what Alfonso meant.

Poor Joey, has done most of the trials so far, including the live trial, he is a brave little soul and if anyone deserves the title King of the Jungle this year, it is definitely him. 

What else has happened in the jungle? Honestly, not much. I am not enjoying it so much this year, I am looking forward to seeing the dead wood get chucked out. There are so many people in there who aren't doing anything. Even Matthew Wright seems to have lost the will to argue and debate with people. The usual arguments around food,where people are sleeping and who is changing the dunny. It is all so predictable and painful to watch people keeping their mouths shut, because they know the slightest disagreements with a popular camp member will lead to them being voted by the public for a bushtucker trial.  

There has been a lot of whispers though, as people quietly grumble amongst themselves about cooking and cleaning. There is also some mystery as to why Olympian, Rebecca Adlington is ruled out of most trials on the grounds of ill health. Surely, the fittest member in camp, seems unable to do any of the challenges, which is a disappointment and will probably be the reason Rebecca gets voted out quite early.

Thursday, 21 November 2013

I'm a celebrity - two camps merge, a little early for my liking

There was a football match, which England didn't even win, so I'm a celebrity was pushed back a day. Dear t.v. execs, we don't all value football over I'm a celebrity.

As it turns out, the programme seems to be focusing around the bushtucker trials and not so much on the interactions between the celebs.  Maybe the celebs are so media savvy they are not saying the sort of things which would usually get them air time. Remember the year Helen Flanagan showed everyone that she really is just a bimbo? 'I've never blow dried my own hair' as if that is something to be proud of. Well, Joey Essex is playing the game this year, at least, I hope it is a game and he really isn't sooooo dim that he doesn't know how to blow his own nose. 

The longer the programme goes on, the more I am starting to think, as is Matthew Wright, that Joey Essex is playing up to his dim public image. Well, I suppose it makes sense, it is what has made him famous, so why wouldn't he play up to it now he is being recorded 24/7. His career is based around him being thick, it would be a bit of a shocker if he now started showing signs of intelligence. I would like to see him learning something, or attempting to learn, so he can be a good role model for the youngsters who look up to him. 

None of the other celebs have really done anything remotely worthy of blogging about. Certainly nothing memorable. The trial was even predictable, Matthew Wright went head to head with Joey Essex and Joey won. This is twice in a row now. There have been a couple of other challenges but none of the celebs have shown any humanity apart from Matthew Wright. His complaining is sounding human. It seems to me the main body of people in the jungle this year are either controlling their real feelings, or they just haven't got any substance to them. 

Although Carlton/Alfonso has shed a few tears, one camp actually started a camp sing song as they cooked their kangaroo meat. It is feeling a little contrived, too self-aware and I am looking forward to the camps merging and the two new celebrities moving in. Although I do feel this is all being rushed, they could have done with another 24 hours in their respective camps and another day without proper food so they really resent the newcomers.

It isn't the happy campers that keep people glued to I'm a celeb, it is the argy bargy and jostling for airtime that is fun to watch.

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

I'm a celebrity - Joey learns to tell the time. The Essex stereotype is alive and well.

Day Two. Joey is learning to tell the time. 

Please don't let this year's show descend into clips of just how uneducated Joey Essex is. Poor Joey. 

Matthew Wright has quickly lost his original sparkle and is looking unshaven, stubbly and haggard and it has only been 24 hours. It was not my favourite bush tucker trial, the eating one. The most disgusting thing on television, watching celebs trying not to vomit. Yuk. No thanks. 

The real fun of this programme starts when the two groups merge. I also feel a little sorry for Alfonso, he clearly wasn't expecting this level of reality, deprivation, the weather, the food...I suspect he hasn't ever watched the programme. 

My money is on either Alfonso, Big Mo or Matthew leaving first of their own accord or through injury. I don't think these three are going to hack it. I am particularly disliking Big Mo trying to explain to the youngsters about sex. I still find it cringey for old women to be lecherous, it isn't funny when old men do it and it is no different for old women. 

So, although watching Ant and Dec was fun, the second day of the trials was really quite disappointing, particularly the unfair part where Matthew and Joey both ate five things, camel toe, and turkey nuts, how foul, amongst other things and then they were forced to a tie break. They should both have won five meals. 

Once again the next trial will be Joey and Matthew. The Joey and Matthew show continues.

Monday, 18 November 2013

I'm a celebrity - tears from the American and the hardened journo. The first show didn't disappoint.

Wow. Just wow. I'm a celebrity get me out of here, the very first show, had it all. There was hardly any Ant and Dec because there was so much actual content to squeeze in, I guess. There was jumping out of helicopters, celebrities competing and racing to find other celebrities hidden on a remote island, choosing their teams out of a possible pair. ie the choosing team chose Amy over Matthew Wright, it was all very embarrassing to watch Matthew assuming he was going with them, he clearly must have misunderstood what was going on.  

A team wearing a red sash and a team wearing a yellow sash. Red team, yellow team. It was fantastic to watch Joey Essex, being the youngest and quickest team member, racing ahead and taking his pick of celebs. Coloured slightly by his choice of words which haven't been given to him by the Towie producers, you know, words like confrontate, and choosing his team mates because he wants the fit birds on his team. You can hear the Towie producers rubbing their hands together as his stupidity profile grows larger.

The star of the first night though, has to be Matthew Wright. He squealed like a little girl, or Kenneth Williams, he ran round in circles looking for all the world like Frank Spencer wearing bright pink woollen socks tucked into his boots, a pair of cream jeans and a floral patterned shirt, clearly borrowed from Alfie Moon's wardrobe. 

I had a couple of favourite moments from the first show. The first was the look on David Emmanuel's face as he stood stock still, in the jungle, wearing a bright white, pristine designer suit, doing quite a good God impression, lots of white hair and white clothes. I can only imagine what was going through his head as Matthew Wright, waving his hands in the air, ran towards him saying 'oh good, you are dressed up, like me'. If ever there was any doubt about Matthew's dress sense, I think we can safely say he really doesn't have any.

There were so many brilliant moments, not least of which Matthew crying and Alfonso (Carlton) also shedding a tear after being locked in a box with scorpions running riot over his face. Again, the look on Alfonso's face after being so stoic with the scorpions only to watch Joey Essex demand attention and screeching about a lizard trying to bite his trousers.  Lizards. They are practically pets. But then so is Joey Essex.

Cannot wait for the head to head trial between Joey Essex and Matthew Wright.